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Monday, April 4th, 2011
12:55 pm
.....No bees have made their way close to either of my boobs today!

(2 talks | Talk to me!)

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008
12:37 pm - Big Dead Bee
.....So the other day I was swiveling in my chair when something impacted on my boob and went to the floor. It was black but when I looked for it on the floor there was nothing there. This was kind of weird and I just assumed it was my imagination as I was distracted watching a video. Same thing happened about an hour later except this time it hit me in the head and I heard a buzzing. I whipped off my head phones but couldn't find a trace of whatever it was. The next day I found it in my living room dead on the floor, a really big dead bee. I so don't know how I didn't get stung and luckily it appears to be isolated, no more bees.

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Friday, April 18th, 2008
3:52 pm - Musings
.....I am settling into my new place which is really good as my last living situation was insanity. Take my advice, if you ever suspect your roommate is a drug dealer, get out of there. It is kind of funny actually as I am very anti drug but yet I lived with a drug dealer for close to a year. In part I suspect it was the writer part of my that keep me there. I just had to see how bad bad could be lol. It got bad and stressful but there were some amusing times like when I let this girl he ticked off break into his room and steal his computer.

.....My new place is huge and I have like two bathrooms. Heck I have rooms I never go into now. I am thinking of picking up a roommate though I will be careful as I do not need another seedy person in my life.

.....I no longer work or the Internet company that I had been working for close to 3 years. THey laid me off which was not surprising as I was making a lot of money, thus a target when the economy falters. I am okay that as I get Employment Insurance until like December. I am planning to write a second novel then get back to work. There are so many jobs here in Vancouver, especially with the 2010 winter Olympics coming. A friend of mine just got a job with the Olympics Committee.

.....So nothing new in the companionship department. I have gotten use to being single and don't know if I ever want to surrender my freedom again. For now at least I will do everything in my power to remain single.

(3 talks | Talk to me!)

Monday, January 21st, 2008
1:11 pm
I know I should post more often but hey I have grown lazy or just too much stuff going on. Luckily or not I left my job. It was not a bad thing as I wanted to quit but you don't get EI here if you do that so a lay-off was perfect. So now I need a new job, not sure what I want or if I want to stay in Vancouver. I kind of miss the snow and home so hey you never know. Anyway I will try to not let another year pass before I update again.

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Friday, August 31st, 2007
5:43 pm - A long overdue update
.....SO yes it has been an eternity since I last posted and that is sad but unfortunately the way my life is. I am on a journey that has taken me into a place where I had never meant to go. I am an artist but yet here I am in upper management in the company that I work for. I have lots of money and can buy all the fancy gadgets but yet that has become kind of hollow. I miss my writing, I miss the me that was a dreamer and not the corporate dwelling version.

.....It has been a yhear and a half since I joined the ranks of being single and I am okay with staying that way. I really don't want to share my path with a someone special. I am completely okay with just being alone. Maybe that is why I do not post so much. Anyway, that is my update.

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Wednesday, July 26th, 2006
5:58 pm - Montreal
So I am writing this post from Montreal, no I have not moved again...lol. My job has sent me on a business trip, all expenses paid, yay!!!! I am staying in a nice hotel and they are paying for everything, including food. All I have to do is train the graveyard staff of the Montreal call center in our systems out West so that they can offer our western customer's overnight support. Not a hard task, I am enjoying it so far.

Montreal is really a great city. Sure not knowing french kind of sucks but then again there is a lot of english in the city. In most shops I enter they usually greet me in English before I let them know that I am English. Anyway, it has been good so far and I have to go to class so I'll update more later.

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Thursday, June 29th, 2006
9:49 pm - I cannot be cloned.
My boss seems to be trying to clone me to her upppity management style. She even wants me to read a book which helped her mold into the um well I won't say what she is...lol. So fun, I so need to let myself get sucked deeper into management. I'm a rebel, ok I was a rebel, no damn it, I refuse to become the estabolishment. I will not be cloned into the corporate image. I say loudly, well not loudly enough for my corporate masters to hear, that I shall not be cloned!!!!!

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Sunday, June 25th, 2006
8:44 am - High SPF for the melatonin-challenged Girl.
.....It is a lazy sunday morning and the mountains are so clear with there not being a cloud in the sky. The warmth of the day is already seeping into my bones as I can feel it is going to be hot, the sticky kind of uncomfortale hot. Maybe down by the ocean there will be a breeze that will drift in taking away the stickiness if for only a time. The ocean offers other coolness so many will be embracing her waves, masses of people who worship the sun.

.....In my paleness, sun worship is not a liberity I can afford without a triple digit spf factor. The experts claim that an spf of 45 should give the pale girl 4 hours of sun protection. I am leery of that claim. In fact, I want to picket the manufacturers of sunscreen to get a triple digit spf, though I couldn't do it for long thanks to the dubious spf 45 4 hour limit. It is like an evil plot as they know the melatonin-challenged can only picket them at night or on rainy days. Watch your backs Banana Boat people we are out there! Okay though you are pretty safe on sunny days.

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Sunday, June 11th, 2006
4:46 pm - Buffy Season 8
It seems Joss has been writing away to extend the Buffy continuity in the form of a 6 issue miniseries that will appear in Dark Horse Comics. It is supposed to pick up after the season 7 finale and will extend the story into what many are calling a virtual season 8.

Still nothing up yet on the Dark Horse Site.

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4:32 pm - Bored.
I am so bored that I am actually updating my lj :-P. I don't have a lot to say as work has kept me busy the last few months and thus not a lot of new. Other than I guess I have a hard time sitting around and doing nothing like I use to. It's weird how much time you have when you don't play World of Warcraft. I miss it sometimes but its not enough to saddle up to it again.

My Mom is coming to visit in August, should be fun. I haven't seen her since 1999 so I guess it's overdue. I love my Mom but can only deal with her in small dosages. I have committed to go home for Christmas this year which will take a lot of patience to deal with all of my family. At least once this year is over I can avoid them all for another 7 years lol.

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Sunday, April 30th, 2006
6:22 pm
Wow, I am so bad at updating though I know I should more for the few people who actually miss me when I am quiet. Not a lot is new in my life other than finally being over my ex. It is a relief really as I was never the settling kind really and living with someone was stiffling in some ways. Now I can just be crazy and have fun. For example I was out to a club last night and the one of the girls in the band asked me to watch her bag which I did and when she came back she was grateful and asked how she could show her appreciation. I jokingly said that some gropage would be nice and she did just that. It was very sexy and oh so hot gropage; images from that event will live with me forever.

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Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
8:40 am
Valentine's Day is here and I guess the only bright spot about it is that I don't have to buy a gift this year. I would much prefer the buying a gift part though. I am almost afraid to go to work today, this may not be a good day. Like an evil foreshadowing I was hit in the face last night on the way home from work with sea gull poop which managed to ruin my new red shirt in the process. I put it in water to soakwhen I got home but it was too late, the poop bleached it good. Anyway I hope everyone else has better luck with this holiday than I am.

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Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
9:26 pm
.....I had a kind of weird night. So I went shopping with Dave tonight. I bought an Ipod Nano...yay! Anyway after buying my Nano we went to a restuarant and the weirdest thing happened. Dave noticed it first but our waitress seemed to be paying me more attention than him and he pointed it out. I told him he was mistaken. It turns out that he wasn't as she came back and I noticed she didn't even look at Dave and then when I went up to pay a funny exchange happened.

.....Her name was Jessica and she lost her card to work her cash machine/register so she had to go get it and then started telling me about this time she had to borrow some girls jeans for the attached id. I thought this was weird but it got stranger as she then went on to ask me for my plans for the night. I told her that I was going to go home and she then asked me if she could come. The weird thing is that I don't think she was joking. I laughed it off anyway and said she would have to be into tech to like my place at which she replied that tech confused her at which point the debit machine crunched up my receipt. She stood there just talking more until one of her coworkers had to call her twice to get her attention.

.....She was hot and if she was in to me like Dave thinks I may be interested. It was weird but I may have to return there to make sure it isn't something else. I am not over Jill yet so even if it is something, the timing isn't right. Weirdness!!

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Monday, February 6th, 2006
8:43 am
.....It was a pretty uneventful weekend. Spent most of the time just reading. So now its back to work and I have a class this week so it will go by pretty fast. Though it is payday tomorrow...yay!!!!

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Wednesday, February 1st, 2006
7:27 am
.....What a morning, the day hasn't even begub really and it is already sucking so bad. Normally I leave for work aroud 9:10 AM as I am working 10-6 this week. My ex promised me she wouldn't make me meet her new boyfriend until I have gotten past the urge to decapitate him on sight. Well, she is bringing him by at 9:00 Am this morning. At least she gave me a warning so I guess she threw me a chance to bail before he gets here. Even still I don't want to leave too early though I will have to.

.....I know it's not this guys fault but I can't get past the anger yet. The break-up was a month ago so you might expect me to be healing but I'm not really. Maybe anger is the last part but it sure has great staying power. Staying friends with Jill is going to be tough. I still want that but I am certain once she moves out that I will not see enough of her to call it a friendship which may be a good thing short term for healing but will kill our friendship long term. I don't need friends, at least that is what I will keep telling myself.

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Saturday, January 28th, 2006
9:47 pm
.....Three cheers for me, I put together a chair I have been meaning to put together for a few weeks :-)

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10:58 am
.....It has been a long week at work and I am so glad it is over. I did have some fun last night though as I discovered one of my co-workers was going to a leather thing. The jokes must have crossed a line to say the least...lol. Despite the fun that can be had at work with the night people, I am looking forward to returning to my stuffier day shifts on Monday.

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Thursday, January 26th, 2006
7:42 am
You Are Wind

Strong and overpowering
A force to be reckoned with, no one dares cross you
You have the power to change everything around you

You are best known for: your wrath

Your dominant state: commanding

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Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
9:04 am

  • It's a sunny day. Wow, it seems like a forever ago since I saw the sun. I'd better remember to put some sunscreen on.

  • My schedule is out of wack this week due to the new hire of some evening staff which I will have to teach in the evening this week. I like my day shifts, but oh well, it should be a change at least.

  • So we had our election yesterday and no surprise we elected another minority government. I guess this means another election in a year or so.

  • I am still struggling with my New Years break-up. At least I am in the anger phase. I think that is the last one.

  • Day 24 of being a near vegan. I am basically still eating honey so I won't call myself a real vegan until I can stop the honey.

  • I want to buy something cool though I'm not sure what so I probably won't buy anything...lol

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Saturday, January 21st, 2006
11:22 am
.....I was going to catch Underworld 2 last night with a bud from work. Paul is like a super movie buff so we try to catch a movie once a week. Unfortunately it was sold out so Paul took me back to his place and I got to meet his boyfriend who is an RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) and the three of us watched tv and listened to Rob tell us about how he was on the news standing over a dead body. So I stayed long enough to see the back of Rob's bald head on TV as he was indeed standing over a body. Rob mentioned that there was no ID on the body. I told him I would run the guys prints. He told me that they had and luckily the dead guy had a record. Paul congratulated me on a good call...lol. I just replied that my ex watches a lot of CSI.

.....Speaking of Jill, I haven't seen her much this week. I am mostly over her, I think. It's hard to say because when she shows up a lot of feelings resurface. It will be really weird when she moves completely out of here in May.

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Thursday, January 19th, 2006
6:55 am
.....The week has been pretty quiet as I still figure out how to be single. I am not even sure if I like the word 'single.' I mean it kind of sounds off. Wow it has been a long time since I was last there. Was I happy then? I think I was which is good as it means that there is hope for me now. I guess it is just complicated in the whole not hating my ex thing. I have never had a break up before where both parties didn't end up hating each other.

.....I still do things occassionally with my ex though she spends most of her time at her new love's. It seems weird to think of it that way. I did though find out the other night that she had cheated on me with one of my friends. That should have enraged me, but it didn't. I mean there really isn't any point in getting angry now or seeking out some grand revenge on the friend. I think I am just letting it all pass under the bridge, I have more important things to do with my life.

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Sunday, January 15th, 2006
1:28 pm
You Are an Iced Coffee

At your best, you are: hyper, modern, and athletic

At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty

You drink coffee when: you're out with friends

Your caffeine addiction level: medium

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8:05 am
.....Today is day 29 of rain, we tied the record of 29 straight days of rain set back in 1953. We break this record tomorrow and looks like we will probably add at least 6 days to it. I am so glad I am not in a basement, a few people at work have had flooding problems, eeek!!!!

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Saturday, January 14th, 2006
12:29 pm
.....The break up on New Years eve did not have the finality that a break-up should. My ex was feeling guilty and tried to make me feel better by sleeping with me. Sure this felt good but it just prevented me from letting go, from moving on. She tried to keep up a sort of time sharing relationship with me which I agreed to at first but very quickly came to realize that I am worth more than that. I will always love her and we will, with work, become great friends but we can never go back to what we once had. I told her this today, I had to because to do anything else would have been stupid on my part.

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Thursday, January 12th, 2006
9:00 pm
.....The rain continues to fall, I think we are on day 27 or something like that. I just know it has been a long time since before the rain. I like it though, it is like my life in some ways, a reflection of the big break-up. The sun will come again some day but for now I guess its ok.

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Wednesday, January 11th, 2006
7:45 am
.....The middle of the week. It hasn't been too bad at work this week. I have been formating excel documents for our new Sales Manager who couldn't be any more computer unsavy without being autistic...lol. I did get to do some interviewing for our vacant level 2 tech job which is fun as I get to see them fumble their words and all while trying to make a great impression. I love interviewing.

.....I had a small seepage of pain on Monday night over the whole Jill issue. I am getting better and am not sure what I want to do. I want her back but do I want to risk being hurt again, that is an issue I will be wrestling with for a bit, I guess. I guess it depends on the time of the day which way I am leaning...lol

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Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
8:04 am
.....23 Straight days of rain here in Vancouver and counting. The record is 28 set back in like 1950 something. I wonder if we will break it?

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Sunday, January 8th, 2006
11:26 am - Freedom
.....New Years 1999 is the night I made a really bad decision, it is the night I decided to change myself in what I thought would be a positive way at the time. This is the story of a girl, it always has to be a girl, doesn't it? I had a relationship of sorts with this girl, it was not a sexual relationship but it was a form of love that ended badly. I was a different person then, very vibrant, lots of energy and spirit. I had a wild streak that I kept in check but cherished at the same time. This was Candace the writer, the free spirit willing to experience anything and enjoy the trip in the process.

.....So New Years 1999 was a big rejection from a girl I cared deeply about. She just rejected me, no reason so I decided it was because of who I was thus I set about to change to filter away my spirit. It was a tough task turning inward and hiding who I had been from the world and from myself. I wanted to be bland Candace and somehow that seemed like a great idea at the time.

.....By the time I met Jill I was almost there, the suppression of my old self was nearly complete. Though in retrospect if it had been complete I would never have hoked up with Jill. It was a sliver of the old me that wanted her, that needed her. I had no choice but to pursue her, to love her. As we developed our relationship I tried to supress that part of me, but enough got out from time to time and Jill really liked this part of me. She many times said she wanted to meet the old me. I would never allow this and as time passed more and more of the old me disappeared and her unhappiness climbed. I could not recognize this pattern. I was focused on denying everything that was old me, even sex.

.....I recognized it was a problem for us in the Fall of 2005. I just lacked the courage to do anything nor the desire. I put it off thinking it was not an urgent matter. As we all know it was much more urgent than I could recognize. In fact, by the time I was figuring out what truly was important, it was already too late. I had already killed our relationship and Jill finally was free. I am glad she left because I needed a slap of that magnitude.

.....I have wasted 5 years punishing my true self and it was all for nothing. I refuse to do it anymore. I refuse to keep myself bound in a bland wrapping of my own creation. I am returning to me, it is about time. 2006 is the year of transformation, the year of rebirth. It is about time I reclaim my life and whatever that means is okay by me. After all its not the destination that is important but rather the fun you have figuring out how to get there.

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Friday, January 6th, 2006
7:57 am
.....The pain of getting dumped is finally at a managable level. I know it isn't totally going away anytime soon but at least I can function...lol. The weird thing is that I still want her back and that may be a real possibility once the honeymoon period ends with her new boyfriend or it may not. I am planning for the worse and a few of my friends think I shouldn't let her back in while a few more think I should. It's just weird and I know I want her back but I also know I will survive without her and adapt. Oh well, I guess I will just deal with the now for now.

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Sunday, January 1st, 2006
10:28 am
take the psi-q psychic test yourself

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